General Dating Rules for Women? Yes, read on….

Ok, so I found this article online with some dating tips for women (don’t worry, boys, I’ll find you some as well!)…

I’m still laughing over a few of the things they list as “General Dating Rules”. Take a look and tell me which ones are YOUR favorites!!

Dating Rules

Happy HumpDay! xoxoxo

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New Year’s Eve!

I can’t believe it’s almost here! I’m not alone when I say 2010 went by FAST…

I’m curious as to what your “resolutions” will be? Personally, I like to set some goals for the year, and I’m glad to say my 2010 goals surpassed even my expectations. I’m hoping 2011 will be full of just as many fantastic surprises.

What’s your favorite memory from 2010?

Making a list & checking it twice…

I’m making a list, and checking twice…oh, let’s be honest. I’m going to check it probably thirty times. I’m that neurotic! 😉

One of my close friends asked if I’d put together a list of places to meet other singles like herself. I rattled off the usual: “Bar!” and she shook her head – can’t blame her there. “Online dating?” I queried? She then reminded me of the wonderful dates I had recently, where I was paired up with some ridiculous guys thanks to an online website. I nodded my head and said I’d get to work.

Here’s what I have so far, and if you feel you can add to it, I’d love it:

1. Join a charity and volunteer. Easy as stalking someone you admire and finding out where they volunteer. Or just pick something you want to give back to. Both work.

2. Grocery store. I know I can barely push that damn cart sometimes. Maybe you can “run” into someone you think is hot? Just don’t cause bodily harm. Lawsuits are NOT a good way to begin a relationship.

3. Meet-up’s – there’s a website dedicated to these. See if there are any in your area you want to check out, like a running group or hiking. You never know. www.meetup.com – I don’t recommend anything like a bank robber meet-up though…Unless you’re into that.

4. Years ago, I had a DUI here in California and I was asked by the court to attend AA meetings. I did meet a nice guy there, and we dated for a few months (I’ll save that one for another time). I’m not saying go to these meetings and scope someone out if you DON’T have to or don’t have a problem. Just wanted you to see that sometimes we need to think outside the box…

5. On that note, when I read this to my cousin, he chimed in with “church”. That’s where he met his new GF and they are really super happy!

6. Is there a convention in town? Stip naked and run through it. No? Hmmm….back to the drawing board.

See? I need help! Please, please email me at anneinprogress@me.com with any thoughts or suggestions!
The best suggestion gets a prize! For real! I’m gonna dig up a fun prize from my goodie bag and ship out to the best one I get! So include your mailing address for me as well n the email, ok?

Get to crackin’! This elf needs help.

If It Ain’t Broke…(Re-print from the Frederick News-Post & one of my faves!)

I was scrolling through the web applications offered for my new iPhone the other day, and I came across one for downloading backgrounds as screensavers. These are either picturesque scenes of nature, cute animals or art, or they have positive sayings, so when your phone is idle you have a cute picture to enjoy or an affirmative thought to read. One particular background selection actually disturbed me, and I am still trying figure out why.

It was a peaceful, serene, meadow scene and the cursive inscription over the picture read, “I Want To Love Someone So Much That They Know Everything About Me”. For the record, I am not a pessimist when it comes to love or relationships or anything romantic, just the opposite actually. Yet, this particular statement made me shake my head. Do we want someone else to know everything about us?

It is actually right in tune with a conversation I had with my cousin, Shelly, last week when I was visiting her. She stated to me that no one that is together for any length of time ever really knows the other person they are with at all. I, being the debater I felt I needed to be that day, proceeded to argue the point with her – Only I found myself understanding her side. It does seem to me that in this day and age you need to get a DNA swab and a background check for anyone you go out on a date with, much less you get married to them. You never know what you are really getting, do you? How many times have women I know wanted a money-back guarantee in their relationships?

Take my friend Laura. A sweet, put together, type-A personality that is the marketing director for a major corporation. She has been happily married for about fifteen years now, has an amazing home near Venice Beach and two children. When I spoke to her recently, I asked her if she had any secrets that her husband was not aware of that only she knew. She laughed as she told me that he still has no idea to this day that she was a stripper for a few years after college. And he never will. As she said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Then there is my cousin’s friend that was dating someone for 2 years and never told him about her bankruptcy. She said that she thought it was unnecessary information to be passed on,  since she felt that they were never that serious anyway. (They are not together anymore actually, so she obviously made the right decision.)

Personally, after hearing these stories and thinking about this, I decided to take stock in how forthcoming I had been in my relationships past. Let’s just say, I have no filter. I realized that I seem to offer my own personal information as trust is earned, in a slow-leak kind of way. Are there certain things I never divulge? I can think of one or two I probably should not – Actually I can think of twelve – Yet, with the right amount of wine, I am a modern day version of “Deep Throat”. My own worst enemy. Enemy mine.

Would I change this about myself, since I know other women think that too much information given out is only to be used against us in the future? No. I am who I am and I cannot regret that. I will always spill too many secrets and laugh too loudly at my self, but hold back info? No way. I guess at some point I may find someone that believes in that, too.

We’ll see…

 

Due Diligence or Cyber Stalking? (Sneak peek at my next column!!)

I’m a firm believer in due diligence. Having as much knowledge on any given subject can only be helpful, right? I mean, I think it was the television network ABC that did the “Knowledge is Power” ad campaign… I’m sure we all remember “The More You Know”?

For example, if I’m about to meet someone who could possibly be a new business aquaintenance, or if I’m researching a new restaurant or retail store, I like to “Google” them. That’s right, I Google. I Google all day long, it is after all, a search engine! With that being said I feel it’s safe to admit, that yes, I have Googled myself on more than one occasion. Don’t judge me. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Even Wikipedia defines research as “the search for knowledge, or as any systematic investigation, with an open mind, to establish novel facts…” Search for knowledge, or in my case, a quest.

Apparently, even though I think it’s wise to use Google as a research tool, I have a few friends that think I abuse the Google tactic when it comes to meeting someone I may possibly date for the long-term. I stand firm in my belief that all I’m doing is “due diligence”.  If I felt I could do a background check or a DNA swab on a potential boyfriend, AND get away with it, we all know I would.

Now, by due diligence, I don’t mean I find your Facebook page or, heaven forbid your MySpace page, LinkedIn, Twitter or whatever it is you use for social networking and then proceed to learn all I can about you so we appear to have more in common than we really do. Please, that’s child’s play honey. No, I’m looking for something along the lines of you being arrested for bank robbery or fraud against the elderly. Or in the case of one lucky man, the article where he expressed his opinion on aliens in outer space and how he “might have seen one hovering above the mountain” near his home here in LA.

When I forwarded this particular article to one of my best friends, she promptly – and sweetly – told me to stop cyber-stalking. “What?!?” was my innocent reply. “Cyber-stalking? Hardly, I’m making sure I don’t go share a meal with a kook or a rapist. Hell, I could be in a getaway car and not even know it!”. That’s when I realized that yes, this type of behavior can appear to border on insanity, but think about it: I knew enough at that point for me to know I didn’t want to even tread out of my house to go on another date with this person.

Is it fair? Probably not.  I do try to make sure I never judge a book by its cover and I try to see the whole picture. I really do, it’s just that sometimes, especially after years of experience in the dating world, you smell the red flag coming before it ever really starts to fly. Maybe it’s the freak flag that I smell more so than the red flag, but either way, listening to your gut instinct is important, too.

No matter what the scenario, when you meet someone and begin the first dates as part of the “ritual”, we are all taking a chance. The chance that this person will be good to you, will have your best interests at heart (at least for the night) or that they won’t cut you up into a million little pieces and bury you in the desert (or throw you in the Chesapeake). We trust that that they are honest and we trust ourselves that we chose correctly in our decision of who we wish to share a meal with or have as our escort for the evening.

Some people call my “way” annoying and immature, others have obviously accused me of cyber-stalking, even though I can argue based on the social platform of Four Square (Really? Who’s stalking who now?).

Personally, I call it brilliance.