Code of Ethics for a Late Bloomer

  1. Don’t learn how to pay bills on time until you hit mid-30’s
  2. Realize the West Wing really is the coolest show ever…in 2011. This is when you finally watched it.
  3. Ditto Cosby Show.
  4. Throw out that VCR…No one pops in a tape anymore.
  5. Figure out that Happy Hour stopped being cool when you turned 25. Let it go.
  6. Figure out that Late Night Happy Hour stopped being cool when you turned 21.
  7. Realize one night stands needing a ride home the next day may be more fucked up than you are.
  8. Realize that one night stands can be a pain in the ass. Well, at least if they insist on talking. Or even staying over (WTF?!? Get out.)
  9. Finally decide to get rid of your Ikea crap furniture and go for it with Pottery Barn. (Really? Isn’t Ikea the Swedish version of Pottery Barn?)
  10. Get a cat and learn to feed it. Litter box change is optional.

 

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